Sunday, 27 July 2008

humm..
hi all..haix..
having headache since thursday..
HAVEN RECOVER..
feeling soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sick..
tired..
tomoro dunno need to stay for wad KNS activity..
why sia..
i wan go home zzz lea.. if not go mit someone..
haix..
let me share with you all SOME stupid things our school had arranged..
on monday..
first lesson..
Chinese..(1hr)
Science/physic(1hr)
Music(1hr)
SELF_STUDY(1/2hr)
recess
HomeEcon(1 1/2 hr)
Math(1 hr)
school ends @ 1410 hrs
well you see arh.. many of us think that the study period is a waste of time..
half hour chit chatting..
teacher do their own stuff..
and somemore we dont really DO our work in class.. we did it at home wad..
why is there a need to have study period??
and sometime we KENA stay back by teacher for no reasons.
stay till like maybe 5 -6pm??
come on la..
WE ARE ALIVE..
NOT LIKE ROBOTS..
no need to rest and do work de..
DOCTOR SAY I MUST REST ENOUGHT.
but..
i got family problem..
mum stressing me for no reason..
dad no problem with him la..
brother..
haix..
when i am sick and only my family doctor can cure me..
he dun allow me to visit the family doc.. instead he wanna me go to polyclinic..
i go there like 6 times a month still not well..
1 trip $10..
6 trips $60
1 trip to family doc $30..
wtf.
why cant he just think??
nvm.. drop that topic..
haix..
todae after service..
baby went home..
i went shopping for my FOOD..
taadaa~
then EMO abit..
dunno wad to do..
think alot of things..
haix..
feel like dying..
feel like crying..
i feel like giving up every thing..
but..
i still got alot of things to do lea..
this feeling..
i dunno how to put it in words also..
i feel like doing the same thing my mom did it few years ago..
haix..
why cant you all put yourselve into others ppl's shoe??
think only for yourself..
have you all ever see me crying hard in front of you all??
no right..
cause, i cant..
if i cry, i will be "killed" by my enermys..
我累了。。
对你们来说,我可能很坚强。
不过你们从知道过着这种生活的感觉吗?
我很想放弃这一切。我不想再当你们的“大姐”照顾你们。
也不想距续演这一场戏。
我需要休息了。
你们千万不要忘记我哦。
this is a non ending drama..
i need some one to give me a ending and to produce a new drama..
i need a director..
a voice recorder..
a camera man..




my burden is heavy till i cannot carry it all by myself..
dear god..
ever since when i am in GLBPC,
you told me to reach out to you..
but..
i really dunno how..
my burden is too heavy for me..
seriously..
i am sick..
i need you..
now in CHC, you told me that you are able..
yes.. i know.. GOD IS ABLE..
but..
when can i drop all this burden and start it all over again??
the road i am traveling is still so dangerous..
i am going so sick..
i am filled with worries..
i cant really cope with all this things happening to me all at 1 go..
i know its a chellenge you gave me..
a test on trust..
i feel like ending my own life..
but if i die, wad will happen??
haix..

Thursday, 24 July 2008

hi all.
i'm absent from school todae..
went to see doc..
doc says:"you arh.. you are undergoing too much stress.."
he ask me:"are you having alot of activities this few weeks?"
yupp..
seriously.. i am sick.. having too much stress..
have to prepare for national day parade, investiture..
and also my studies..
mr yeo is rushing me too much things..
i am those 'slow' kinda of student.
nw.. alot of activities.. i dun even have the time to do homework, revise my upcoming test,
have a good lunch/dinner, a good sleep too..
haix..
i dun really feel like continuing being a councillor.
or maybe.. my CCA.. but.. sign contract le.. cant quit CCA.
nvm..
but if i quit councillor, wad will happen to my class??
being the only councillor in class, my teacher really set their expectation KNN high..

i am sick.. really sick.. alot of things happen at home..
i am really tired and dun want to care about it anymore..
i wan to stop all the"acting".
stop the "drama".. 
i really wanna a break..
humm.. 
who can help me??
i prayed to god..
but..
no answer..
i know god have plant a seed inside me.. 
it is still growing..
but now the young plant seems to wither..
why is that so??
the reason is... because there is no sun..
No one can go back and make a brand new start..
But one can start from now and make a brand new ending.
God didn't promise days without pain
but he did promise strength for the day.
comfort for the tears, 
and light for the way.
haix..
he did plan to give me a good future..
but..
did i appreciate it??
did i accept the truth of my life??
did i ever accept my own self even in the beginning??
Tell you wad..
i am TRYING my very best to accept..
but i just cant..
i need support from you all..
really..
alright..
i shall stop all the emo-ing..
today.. went to see doc with lulu..
haix..
then b4 that, someone seems to be so angry cause i dint go school today..
i never pon school lo..
really sick..
haix..
then walk all the way from cwp to lulu house.. then from lulu house to 768..
then from 768 to my home..
walk in de rain.. 
i think got cry abit la..
haha...
dunno why..



Tuesday, 22 July 2008

tired~

hihihi..
todae reach home around 6.50pm..
had my rehearsal..
my meetings...
haix..
tired..
my schedule is fully packed.. i dont even have the time to talk to him..
sorry neh.. hope you can understand..
tomorrow..
free~
no meeting no nothing..
can go find someone..
hee~
wo hao qi dai~
hee~
i tell you all my schedule first ba..
this week and next week de..

Date

activities

Date

Activities

24/7

Dance and singing practice.

1/8

NPCC

25/7

Photo taking with councilors and NPCC

2/8

Saturday

26/7

SATURDAY~

3/8

Sunday

27/7

SUNDAY~

4/8,5/8,6/8

NOT SURE

28/7

Singing session with councilors

7/8

Councilor investiture

29/7

Rehearsal

8/8

NPCC national day parade.(not confirm)

31/7

rehearsal

see.. i dun even have time for TUITION..
i need to have my tuition asap la..
math is getting more diff..
dying soon..
i NEED HELP...
i dun even know wad de f*ck mr yeo talking lo..
i dun understand..
I NEED HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haix..
i might neglect you my dear..
please understand that higher chance we might only able to mit on sunday and Wednesday.
PLeASE dun feel like i ignore you.. i feel bad also..
haix..
too packed le..
i need to learn to "breath".
not enough oxygen..
but too much carbon dioxide..
haix...
i need a plant or something that will take away all the CO2.
and provide me oxygen..
for those who know me, i bet you should know wad am i talking about..
hee~


can you be the plant and help me by absorbing all the carbon dioxide and provide me with oxygen??
can you??


MS ANG IS DEAD=x

too tired le..
sian..

also to all readers,
if i throw my temper at you,
please forgive me..
i might get too
stressed UP and go CRAZY..

Friday, 11 July 2008

hihi~
MS ANG IS SICK~
taadaa~
haixx..
sianzz..
haiz..
nthing to blog also.. sianz..