Wednesday, 25 November 2009

不知爲何這種感覺會變成一種思念……
沒錯……雖然只是過了十天……不過感覺上好像過了十年。
你知道這種愛與不愛的想念嗎?
你知道這種恨與不恨的思念嗎?
你至少還有你的兄弟陪你。但我沒有。
或許你能向他們分擔一些你的問題。但我不能。
唯一只能用睡眠來麻醉自己。或乾脆一點不要睡。
這十天裏。有7天是睡不着的。兩天昏迷1天是因為其他人的安慰才能讓我不必哭着睡。
不知爲什麽,我總是把手機握在手心裏,一次又一次的撥着你的號碼,卻始終沒有勇氣按下通話鍵。
不知爲什麽,每當手機鈴聲響起時,一看到不是你的號碼,我的心又慢慢的沉落。
如果我不曾用心愛你,回首那一刻,淚水不會如此的不爭氣。但沒有你的日子,我的心情也美麗不起。
這種感覺就像放了很久的汽水,除了糖水以外,單調乏味。
我的小小日記寫下了我們的甜蜜,也寫下了我對你的思念
想和你分享你卻看不見。拋下我獨自遠走,這樣的你真是我曾經愛過?
沒有你的笑容,
連天空都不再有彩虹。
我背不動夢的重量。因爲我們的夢都太沉重
以為我們可以一起面對 一起承擔
但我們的天平,卻始終都無法維持平衡
夢的存在,只是,時刻,分秒都在提醒
要不斷的往前 一起飛翔。
或許你都不懂我勉強撐起的笑是虛偽的
裝出來的堅強是痛苦的。
當我需要一個擁抱的時候,你不在
當我需要一個肩膀的時候,你不在
看見街上一對對戀人時,卻發現我手中沒有你的溫度
走在街上 還是習慣找尋屬於你的味道..
風中有朵雨做的雲,風中有朵淚做的雲
雲的心裡全都是雨,我的心裡全都是你
天空又下起了雨,心中又想起了你。
好像忘記了很多很多事情
好像失去了很多很多東西
但是忘記了些什麼失去了些什麼
都是那麼的模糊不可界定
不清晰的記憶裡
我只知道
那些過往與曾經
會一並將那時的我帶走
讓一切身埋記憶
然後遺忘
天黑的時候 我远远陪着你
再小的闪烁 也努力放光明
当有天我在夜空里面
偶尔被发现
希望我眨眼 能感动你视线
想把小星星 排成爱的图形
为你的天空 点綴一些惊奇
即使像流星一闪而過
寂寞也情愿
不求你看见
只想为你发光 永远。
也許在不久之後,你我都變成熟了
如果在某個轉角遇見,
你是否會像當時的感動
是否還能像朋友一般
對我說一聲……
你還好嗎?

Sunday, 15 November 2009

Actually i dun really wanna go out today..
i wanted to sit at home. and wait for my phone to ring..
hoping that you will call me..
but in the end... red tea called me..
ask me if i wanna go out..
and i agreed..
walked around the whole cwp like many for 2 hours?
and ya...
right now i dunno how am i going to survive like this..
i dont even have the strength to.
i cry, i whine..
but i just dont have the strength to live in this world ALONE.
friends left. And now he left me.
i really dunno how am i suppose to continue to live..
i know i'm not as intelligent as you
but all i know..i cant give up on you now..
cause giving up is equal to asking me to end my life...
all i believe is..
if there is still love, there is still hope.

Saturday, 14 November 2009

因为你的坚持所以让我失去活下去的理念。
It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does.
WTF...
i'm like so fucking messed up now.
how i wish everything was a dream...
you are always different to me...
i did so much for you and all you said was...
SORRY...
i don't need your sorry... all i need is just a good night message from you each day. thats all.
i wasn't hoping much in this relationship. seriously speaking..
all i want is just an update about you each day. is that so difficult?
tomorrow is out anniversary day. and you chose to break with me today.
You blocked me in msn eventually.. i know..
SO tell me.. how am i suppose to believe you when you tell me you love me with all your heart?
你最怕的东西发生了。you dont trust yourself.
you always dont.. 放棄你 放棄愛情,放棄了所有權利
連自己都知道這不公平
放棄你 放棄自己,放棄了愛的權利
放棄你 等於放棄我自己
你知道我不聰明所以我選擇放棄
放棄去猜該如何留住你 放棄了所有回憶..
放棄你 等於放棄我自己.
i wanna hold you back here.. can i?
i really want... how i wish you can hear me saying i love you right now.
how i wish i could hug you right now.
i'm cold dear... why aren't you here with me?
do you know that you got the power to make me feel very warm inside?
i miss ya...
but right now...
i feel like dying..

HEY all..
i'm back blogging.. sorry for not posting anything up here for long alright?
this is what i did for this 2 weeks of extended curriculum.
took MCs for days. 2 weeks of lessons, 10days, i took almost 5 days mc.
SICK uh.. flu bug came attack me.
doctor was like telling me not to go to school even today. But i think if i dont go to school today to at least tell mr seow that i cant attend the camp, i'm actually putting all the NCOs efforts into waste as they might need to do sudden change in the name list. CAUSE i'm a group ic myself. but yea..
I'm SICK...
Yesterday was daddy's 60 birthday..
went out for dinner with sis.
borrowed bro camera without him knowing.. but i think when he return from aussie he will know uhh.. causes is for dad!!!
hee~
went to Jwen house for overnight last sat.
fun. but i accidentally left my nose spray at home.. thus.. i use half box of tissue plus half roll of toilet paper just for my nose...
For the past 2 weeks, i only met baby like 2 or 3 times only.
because of some problems here and there. But never mind(= i know that it is only for now. Let time do the rest alright? on the 15/11 it will be our first month. but i don't think i'll have the mood to celebrate either..
Dear,
i'm worry about you.. take good care of yourselves when i'm not around with you..
will be praying for you also ya~ MUST have strong faith in GOD and believe that he can help you.
我們從牽手放手又牽手 走過來
願意為更懂你的心 spending all my life
每當情緒像海 你只抱我 從不催我講出來
我就明白 你是我的依賴
And yeas, i wanna say~
I LOVE YOU BABY!!!(L)
and next! i wanna say HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY to EVAN YO, Baoxin and ERJIU~
meet up with jolene the other day...
her dog molested me..XD
bite my butt-.-
but yea.. i think he is the only dog that i dare to carry ehh..
hee~
ok back to my main topic...
13/11/09 is the end of my sec 3 life..
well.. people tell me that secondary school's life is the most fun.. but i dont think so. i think..
mixing with people who is racist-minded. mixing with people who love to crap and back stab people, mixing with people who will create trouble..
well i don't think this is what people want right?
you said that it's the secret between us and you eventually tell him or her my problems and allow them to take me as a topic to talk.
so you considered yourself as a SISTER yourself?
OH MY... mixing with the Black monkey jumper and those crappy GIRLS?
Childish. I look down on you, you fucking loser!Get a freaking life, wimp!
and from now on, i will not try to argue or entertain with any idiots i encounter.
btw,I'm drowning in a pool of stupids around me..
AND i'm absolutely not afraid to offend people.
So stop stating the obvious just because it makes you seem like you have morals. In fact, you aren't.
Come on la, have you disabled your intellectuality abilities like those mama fucking assholes out there in the streets trying to get hook-ups yet failed so miserably & then give your senseless comments to ALL your friends?
Don't be so defensive luh, I feel so sad for you.*Evil grins*
BTW, wanna charge me for insulting you izzit?
come on!!!as far as I know, NO ONE told me that insulting is an offense too! & Further more, I didn't even state any name nor initials so what are you people talking about? Why do all of you like to own up on your own?
Not like I am writing about you?
You should really do some soul-searching and reflect on it. Frankly speaking,you should cut all that crap and bullshit of yours.I know you've been telling your friends how bimbo tic I am, and I know somehow there and then,they agree with you that i'm 'all that negative thing anyone could come up with'.Frankly speaking,I don't mind at all. I won't hate you even if the whole school perceives me as a 'bitch whatsoever' thanks to you. Like I mentioned,If bitching about me makes you feel better, then so be it. Seriously if you were to look back at everything(putting aside all that angst first), there'd be this significant difference between you and I. The good from the bad. I'm not self proclaiming but, I'm the good and you're the bad!
Lastly, I won't deny I've done or said several or infinitely many insulting and disappointing stuffs, going against you. However you've got to know, I was merely giving you back what you've given me.. So it's actually a form of self defense and I see no mistake in it. You should get the heavier sentence because you started it [: It's too late to apologize.
Last piece of advice, ALWAYS GIVE PEOPLE THEIR DESERVED RESPECT AND RECOGNITION. Don't only look at every one's flaws. The reason why we're on bad terms now's because you've focused too much on my flaws, so much so you could make even the littlest mistake I've committed , a big fat mistake! How niccccce -.- Anyway, this would be the last post about you and I'd love to say, I'm happier after letting my heart contents ! Say whatever you want to say about me and to those listening it, you should just trust whatever bad stuff she says about me. It's 101% true. After all, I'm a bitch, flirt,asshole and an arrogant ahlian ... Trust her! Believe i'm all that she's said.. Believe i've done every single bitchy thing !
Perhaps someday in the future, you might need me. Being friends for so long,I know you are burying all the bitterness in your heart. But sadly, I don't feel the sense of pain I use to at least develop for you . It is that bad - yes it is! Goodbye my friend! You're not the one I knew anymore.

Monday, 9 November 2009

ahhhh...
busy with many things
i wan meet BABY!!!!
baby i miss you!!!!
btw. ppl no need go find her liao-.-
thanks(=
i love you guys!

Saturday, 7 November 2009

I LOVE MY DARLING!!!!
baby!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!
i miss you...
Dear~
even though we were far apart,i love you dearly with all my heart...

Thursday, 5 November 2009