Wednesday, 2 November 2011


Friday, 21 October 2011

Monday, 23 May 2011


Sometimes I really want u to know what I'm feeling deep inside actually. All the hurt, hidden emotions, unfairness,and all the mixed feelings you can think of.
Getting scolded/nag at, which couple don't do that? But when it become a daily "things" something is really wrong. I don't mind getting scolded/ nag at when I do things wrongly. But if it were to be some others fault and all of a sudden it become my fault, I'll definitely defend myself. Sometime in a argument, i choose to keep quiet because all I want is to stop the argument between us. Here comes the problem. When I dont defend myself, you will call me a mute. And when I say something to answer your question, you will put it as 頂嘴.
So if we were to put things another way round. Switch character/ roles. How would u feel? Can u believe that even things like me speaking/ thinking slower, took longer time to process what you've said earlier in order to get myself clear of what u want, not hearing you clearly, etc. I'll get scoldings also? I do get irritated. Also, hurt. I wanna cry! Badly. But I know that my tears no longer works on you. Which girls out there don't want to be treated nicely? I want to! But u always say I don't deserve all the feelings from u. Sometimes, I really want u to listen to what I want to say. But I realize that u don't have the patience to listen to me. I took longer time to talk because I want to choose the correct word to fill in the blank. Not giving you any chance to call me a childish kid. You talking me and others to compare, being mean, being unreasonable sometimes. Giving you times like, being treated like a king(?), change as much as I can to be the girl u want me to be. It's difficult. Sometimes it's really very difficult to hold on this relationship. But if I were to give up like that, aren't all our effort wasted?
I really want someone to tolerate my tantrum, to listen to what I want to say. Someone to be gentle and nice..
Hopefully after posting this my heart feels better?
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Friday, 1 April 2011

time really flies.
yesterday night i was actually thinking...
what change will i have in my life?
i dont know.
back then life was easy. my schedule each day was to get people to dig me up, cab/bus to school, finish my lessons and when schools ended,lunch with classmates, other school mates, return home, nap and off to 768 for my dinner.
many asked me. no need do homework one mea?
and my answer at that time was, hack care larrr..exams pass jiu hao.
indeed. exam pass. and i even teach younger kids there their homework.
now and i reflect. i really missed out alot of fun that i can do in the day other than slacking/ sleeping/ gaming.
life was boring at that time. and school. even worst. got all my little kids to wake me up at 6. and i gotta cab to school almost 4 times a week @ 7am. reason being, i cant wake up at that fking 6am. den i got all my other friends who stay around me to meet me at latest 6.30am under my block. i was a very good girl at that time.
but what actually happen to me and cause me to be someone like now?
i admit. i was a very immature girl, and thinking that life was super easy. indeed. life was. at that time..
right now... my life was in a great mess. i see nothing in my future.
i was a waitress and a bridal assistant and i was not happy about it.
life was tired.
like mention in previous post, i was struggling between going back to school (private) or to continue wasting time here. but seriously, i haven made up my mind... i got the urge to go back. yet, i'm afraid that the urge may turn to the sian feeling. what should i do??
hais.... kill me pleaseee!!
my brain is fighting here and there...
let god decide the best for me... i think...

Sunday, 13 March 2011

sry to all modelling photographers/ agent/ friends, my msn/ hotmail got HACKED and for those who need to contact me, please contact me via either my fb, blog @ or my yahoo mail @ THANKS!!

Tuesday, 8 March 2011

oops... haven been updating my blog actually... was thinking of what i should blog in fact...
yea... took a week off from night life, but, another 1 week of daily sitting in bridal shop. sit for 9 hr, only $45. not really happy with the pay yet, i guess sitting in a bridal shop, sewing the silky white gowns might be the best for me...
have been struggling to decide if i were to take my N'lvls language paper this year. cause, i think if i were to take full paper, i will fail definitely. i dont have the time to memorise all the chemical formulae for science, long winded formulae for maths. maybe, i'll just take my combine humanities? social studies plus geography?
my chinese and english?
i seriously dunno...
and i'm struggling... seriously!
baby... help me pleaseee!!!