Monday, 23 May 2011


Sometimes I really want u to know what I'm feeling deep inside actually. All the hurt, hidden emotions, unfairness,and all the mixed feelings you can think of.
Getting scolded/nag at, which couple don't do that? But when it become a daily "things" something is really wrong. I don't mind getting scolded/ nag at when I do things wrongly. But if it were to be some others fault and all of a sudden it become my fault, I'll definitely defend myself. Sometime in a argument, i choose to keep quiet because all I want is to stop the argument between us. Here comes the problem. When I dont defend myself, you will call me a mute. And when I say something to answer your question, you will put it as 頂嘴.
So if we were to put things another way round. Switch character/ roles. How would u feel? Can u believe that even things like me speaking/ thinking slower, took longer time to process what you've said earlier in order to get myself clear of what u want, not hearing you clearly, etc. I'll get scoldings also? I do get irritated. Also, hurt. I wanna cry! Badly. But I know that my tears no longer works on you. Which girls out there don't want to be treated nicely? I want to! But u always say I don't deserve all the feelings from u. Sometimes, I really want u to listen to what I want to say. But I realize that u don't have the patience to listen to me. I took longer time to talk because I want to choose the correct word to fill in the blank. Not giving you any chance to call me a childish kid. You talking me and others to compare, being mean, being unreasonable sometimes. Giving you times like, being treated like a king(?), change as much as I can to be the girl u want me to be. It's difficult. Sometimes it's really very difficult to hold on this relationship. But if I were to give up like that, aren't all our effort wasted?
I really want someone to tolerate my tantrum, to listen to what I want to say. Someone to be gentle and nice..
Hopefully after posting this my heart feels better?
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